Being Mortal is an accessible and fascinating look at aging – the failings of nursing homes and also the way that people with terminal illnesses live their remaining time. Atul Gawande, gives an honest account of his own struggles in discussing death and the quality of remaining life with his patients – doctors are taught to fix problems and often find it difficult to admit to a patient that they have reached the end of what can (or should) be done, medically. Gawande also argues that nursing homes, with their focus on safety at all costs, end up removing freedom, independence, and choice from residents, resulting in the loss of the will to live.
A main take-away is that terminally ill patients, family members, and caregivers must have conversations about the patient’s desired quality of life before it’s too late. What is most important to you? What are you willing to give up and what are you not willing to give up? The answers to these questions and others help guide caregivers and medical professionals during the inevitable crises to come by removing guilt about rejecting some treatments and confidence in pursuing others, with the knowledge that the dying person’s wishes are being followed.
We are introduced to people faced with the loss of independence that comes with a move to a facility and to patients with terminal illnesses, including Dr. Gawande’s father who receives a cancer diagnosis. It turns out that a family of three doctors is just as confused and grief-stricken at the idea of mortality as any other. The insights offered by this book are empowering and provide much needed guidance and food for thought for families and loved-ones of those facing a difficult move and/or the end of life.
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