Fat Vampire

Doug Lee is a vampire.  On accident.  He didn’t even know vampires were real until one attacked him in a fit of desperate hunger.  Now, unable to entice a goth girl with a thing for vampires, he’s had to resort to drinking cows’ blood.  When he falls for the exchange student from India, attracts the attention of TV’s Vampire Hunters, and meets the vampires in charge of Philadelphia, Doug realizes that the laws governing vampires are just as complex as the laws governing high school.

Fat Vampire is a much-needed satire of the vampire novels that have engrossed so many readers.  Doug is uncool, unattractive, increasingly unpleasant, and as much like the seductive vampires of recent pop culture as jell-o is like chocolate mousse.  The contrast is a refreshing change from the current trend.  Doug’s humor is a strong draw in the beginning of the book; he makes fun of just about everything, including himself.  Unfortunately, Doug seems to un-develop as the novel progresses.  Instead of growing into a better person, Doug grows into a better vampire, which makes him meaner and less funny.  At one point, Doug actually vows never to crack a joke again, and from there the story lacks the humor that made the beginning so appealing.  It’s still ridiculous, offbeat, and interesting, but no longer funny.  Other characters, especially the exchange student Sejal, keep the rest of the book from falling totally flat and make it easy to finish.  Unfortunately, by the time readers reach the open-ended conclusion, which presents several possible outcomes, they might be hard-pressed to care what happens to Doug.